I pick my battles, whether about my family or my profession. Long ago, I learned to compromise and decide what is really important. And then not to sweat it , when it isn’t.

Things weren’t always that way. I used to worry about everything–little, big and middle sized–and I was exhausted ALL THE TIME. Suddenly, I realized I was crabby and not always pleasant to be around. I had to do something to change.

One day, in a moment of weakness, I decided it wasn’t really important to have my church choir rehearsal begin at 7 pm (more convenient for me) but 7:15, when the Session meeting would be over, would be fine and I could stop arguing about it with the late comers from the Session meeting. I would potentially have more singers able to join me. It was a win/win situation. After I decided this simple 15 minute compromise, I discovered an added benefit, I felt, physically better–less stressed. And, my choir and the new folks who joined us, thought better of me.

What other places in my life could I pick my battles? My kids wore their hair longer than I preferred but weren’t dyeing it purple–I could live with longer hair but not the purple! As all three are lovely young men now, they have not dyed or pierced anything–that I know of–yet. I look at it this way, it is not “during my watch” any longer and as adults, they can do anything they want with their own appearance. I have to “let it go”. My relationships with them–and my blood pressure–are more important to me then their crazy fashion choices.

One of the first members of my chamber choir–a rather large bear of a bass–told me he wasn’t comfortable wearing a tuxedo but he would, if I insisted. He really hated to wear one in the spring and summer because it was hot and he was a big guy and……..well, you can imagine. I held fast about the tuxes for our first few concert cycles. Then I thought, perhaps since our spring concert is always secular and a less formal event, perhaps the men could wear colored shirts and black pants–and, my gift to that bass–no tie? It has worked very, very well. The men still wear their tuxes for the fall concert but in the spring, they can be more relaxed. And I have gotten the reputation of being easy to work with. Win/win, in my opinion.

A colleague used to ask himself, in regard to picking battles, “is this the hill you want to die on”? I think we as leaders in the choral community have to ask ourselves that question repeatedly. What is really important–the matching blacks of our sopranos and altos or the vocal sounds they produce?

If you have been regularly reading my blog, you might remember the entry about my garden. It is really glorious this year, after lots of work and planning–and some lucky mistakes!

I planted plants specifically to attract hummingbirds and butterflies and chose the sunny spot right under my kitchen window. The butterflies have been coming since I first planted the garden. But this year, many more kinds have come. I have been happy to notice a tiny blue butterfly that is indigenous to Indiana, one that was considered endangered a few years ago. We are only about twenty minutes from the Indiana border, so I am really delighted!

During most of the summer, I have been able to observe a family of hummingbirds. After planting and planning this hummingbird garden, it has taken about three years to establish it as a good place for them to visit regularly. Each morning, I have put on the coffee pot, opened the blinds and cranked up my laptop as I sit at the kitchen table. I have watched the little dynamos flock to the milkweed and cone flowers. I have been surprised by them loving my basil and mint and have been delighted to see their antics. Monday, I saw the tiniest bird–a baby hummingbird!–and watched her take a drink from the hummingbird feeder I had just refilled.

I am still enjoying the garden as it begins to change for fall. I know the birds and butterflies will be leaving on their migrations soon. I will miss their colorful swishes past my window and hope they come back next year. I know I will do everything possible to continue hosting them in my garden. I have a few new ideas that might attract the birds earlier next year and I will try them, in addition to what I know already works.

I think of my garden and the hummingbirds and butterflies as I prepare our concerts and programs and fundraisers for the coming year. What am I doing to attract singers and audiences? I try to do things I know work and will also try a few new things. I want repeats as well as new folks….and enjoy our successes and try to make it even better!

I just got back from a very nice, very relaxing vacation with my family. We went to a very lovely part of the country, saw some beautiful scenery, heard a concert, ate some wonderful–and not so wonderful–food, read and generally relaxed. It was good to get away with people I love.

I am almost ready to begin our new concert cycle. I need a few more times under my maple tree with a cool drink and I should be good to go. Just having some time away clears my palate for the new cycle and refreshes me. And I can do anything!

I am already thinking about the fall….not THIS fall, but fall 2011. In order for thing to be in place—I have to think this far ahead. Of course, the coming concert has been planned for quite a while, with theme and repertoire. And the spring is gelling and most of the music, if not already in my possession, is ordered or will be borrowed. It is next fall I’m thinking about now.

I have a few ideas and will spend the next few months listening and researching and seeing what strikes my fancy. I’ll talk to my singers and get a few ideas from them. And, I will go from there.

I believe in Karma. Oh, I don’t know if I would really call it that, exactly. I feel if you do something good, it usually comes back to you. If you do something bad, it can come back to you as well. In a Christian sense, I believe you “reap what you sow”.

This is why I try so hard to be ethical and honest and nice in my dealings with singers and musicians and anyone I have to work with regularly. It doesn’t take any special effort and it can make a difference. “Good will out” has happened to me over and over.

In my musical life, I try to do good by keeping my eye out for other people–if I hear of a job that would be perfect for someone I know, I tell them. Or recommend them–even those who I know don’t like me. I think if I do, good will be returned to me. And, in many ways, it has. In my travels, I try to never say anything bad if I can help it, at least not in public.

Perhaps others feel differently, but I will always take the high road if I can. And if I can’t, I try to be as kind as possible.

I am a reader–I always have been. I read novels, bios, histories and books about arts management. I read news magazines, decorating magazines and professional journals. When my husband was a resident, I read JAMA regularly–the Journal of the American Medical Association– just to understand what he was going through. And I love children’s books and read to my sons as long as they would allow me to.

My rhythm of reading has a pattern–I read trash during the school year and serious stuff during the summer. I know it’s backwards from what is usually done but it works for me. During the school year and in the midst of concert cycles and preparations, my mind needs a brief escape. I usually read for an hour or so before I fall asleep and reading yet another ‘sequel’ to “Pride and Prejudice” helps me relax enough to rest.

During the summers, my mind needs to be stimulated and reading bios or histories or serious literature fits the bill. I clear my palate for the coming concert cycle and am ready for what is thrown at me. I’ve read some wonderful bios of women composers–Amy Beach, Ruth Crawford Seeger–and a “novel” about the life of Hildegard Von Bingen and some fascinating histories–I’m reading Welsh history this year. I go back to my favorite literature–Shakespeare plays and sonnets and lots of Charles Dickens–or try something new–James Joyce–or again try “War and Peace”. All I can say is thank goodness for my Kindle!

Why a chamber choir? Why not! A different repertoire from the usual but something familiar. Voices as important as the repertoire and vice versa. A feeling of community and ensemble that is more intense than within a larger group. All things that make this kind of ensemble unique in our community. Think about singing with us this time. You won’t be sorry!

There are two things I love to do when I’m not conducting or singing–planning my garden, and gardening. There is lots of time for planning here in the Midwest! When the weather finally lets up so we can garden, I barrel in, sometimes leaving my best laid plans in the dust. …..This year, the planning and the barreling in have merged and I have the best, prettiest garden I ever have. Things I have planned for years have finally reached their maturity and many of my hair brained last minute inspirations don’t seem so hair brained with success. My herbs especially have done well and I have already begun harvesting and freezing so we may have some their sunshine when the snow replaces the plants in a few months.

Sitting under the maple tree with a cool drink the other day and enjoying the garden, I thought about all my planning for the Midwest Motet Society, how much it’s like planning for the garden. Some of my ideas have reached maturity and have shown sense in them when I felt unsure initially. My research, planning and sometimes, my barreling in have proven worth the time I spent doing it. I “pulled weeds” that seemed to be clogging the group, have tried new things and have gone with my gut, just like I have with my garden. And “herbs” have been preserved to enjoy and use later in the dead of winter, when all is dark.